Juliana's take on The Cat in the Hat

I received a random email from my youngest sister one day, completely out of the blue. 

Here's what she wrote:

"The problem I have with 'The Cat in the Hat' is the mom left her children in the care of a fish (my speculation). The fish is very responsible however he cannot defend himself and the children. He gets man handled by the cat and he can't even pull the trigger of a gun if needed."

Then me, laughing and confused: What?!?

So I decided to call her because I just know that in order to write something like that, there has to be a back story.

Juliana ends up telling me her take on the story and about how the boy finally takes action in the fish's defense. Then she said,  "if you look at the cat and Thing 1 and Thing 2, you almost feel sorry for them. Hang on, I'll send you a picture of what I'm talking about."

Apparently, their faces look look like her one year old son's face when something confuses him.

She also said that in another place in book, the cat keeps the things in a box. 

Is this true? 

<Side note, I never liked this book or much of anything by Dr. Seuss, but that really has nothing to do with this story.>

"It's like he's keeping them in a box and pimping them out." 

I laugh hysterically at the idea of this menacing pimp-cat. 

Juliana ends our conversation like this, "There are lot of holes in this book. And that is that. The cat...in...the...hat."